Is Your Marriage on Shaky Grounds?

Marriage certificate with wedding rings on it
What are the signs that your marriage is on shaky grounds?  Are you concerned that your partner has ‘checked out’ and that you might need to contact an experienced top divorce lawyer to discuss your options and your future? While there is no black and white formula to determine that your marriage is heading for divorce, there are a few common signs that divorce lawyers have seen with couples over the years that point to a dissolution of the marriage. If you feel like your relationship is heading that way, make sure that you are financially and emotionally protected with the assistance of an expert family law attorney in Los Angeles.

The following are 10 signs that may mean your marriage is on the decline:

1. You’re Keeping Secrets.

While there is nothing wrong with a little mystery (in fact, it may work against you to share every thought, feeling, emotion, action, reaction, etc… with your partner!), there is probably something wrong with having a secret life. Secret friends, secret email accounts, secret social media accounts… Whatever the case may be, the fact that you are going to lengths to hide this life from your spouse is probably not healthy. Getting to the root of the matter in therapy may be helpful to your relationship, especially if you catch this secret life early on.

2. No Intimacy.

Intimacy can include physical or emotional bonding and is very important to a healthy, united relationship. When one of you lacks the desire to create or strengthen this bond, you may have cause for concern

3. Same Argument, Different Day.

Having the same arguments day after day or watching arguments turn nastier and perhaps physical is a warning sign in any marriage, and shouldn’t be randomly dismissed. Any argument that even remotely has the possibility for abuse is reason enough to call in a mediator (marriage counselor/coach) if you hope to maintain your relationship.

4. Physical Violence.

A continuation of #3 above, physical abuse in a relationship is never ok. There is help for victims of domestic abuse and a compassionate family lawyer will be able to provide you with more information on how to best take care of yourself and your children (if you have them).

5. Substance Abuse.

If you or your spouse are abusing a substance (food, alcohol, drugs, pills, etc…) to escape your relationship, it’s time to seek professional help.

6. Emotionally Unbalanced.

You (or your partner) were once a happy, fun-loving person. Not anymore. If you (or your spouse) is stuck in a rut of bitterness, resentment, anger, fear, etc… it may be a sign that the relationship is no longer fulfilling you. Does this mean it’s time to end it? Not necessarily, but it is a great time to take a look at the feelings driving your change in personality.

7. No Shared Interests.

Having your own lives is important, but when you and your spouse have drifted so far apart that you no longer have any common interests, it is time to take stock of your relationship. Unfortunately, when partners drift apart, there are usually other men or women willing to step in and take up the slack.

8. Letting it All Hang Out.  

You were once a cute, put together couple. Now you (or your spouse) look like a slob, and quite frankly, could care less. If you have stopped caring about how you look to your partner, or whether he or she continues to find you attractive, it’s time to reevaluate your relationship.

9. Infidelity.

Infidelity, whether it is emotional, physical, or otherwise, is a deal-breaker for many couples. Once one partner has broken the trust of the other, it is a very challenging and often very long process to re-build the stable foundation you once had.

10. Checked Out.

If you’ve already check out of the relationship, perhaps by engaging in a few of the points listed above, it is probably a good time to consider your wants and needs in a marriage and in life. This list of signs that your marriage is on shaky grounds is by no means exhaustive nor is identifying with any of the items on the list an indication that your marriage is over. Relationships have ups and downs. However, if you believe that you are ready to end your marriage, discuss your options with an experienced divorce lawyer in Los Angeles first. For more information on divorce in California, contact the top family law attorneys at Walzer Melcher LLP today.